When Your Parent Loses Their Spouse

March 29, 2019

“And the two shall be as one” just rolls off our tongue. But think about it. What does it mean to the one who lives when their partner has died? Are they now a half? Families are interesting in that we tend to “know” our family member as their role relates to us. Mom is mom, dad is dad. We kids typically don’t really see the couple side, or the work side, or the friend side of our parents. 

So how must it feel to lose your life partner? Try to step into your parent’s shoes. Pretty quickly in a marriage the jobs are assigned. She does the laundry, he cooks the dinner, she manages the household budget, and he manages the retirement plan. Sure, they have separate interests but look at all those shared interests. Are they lost with this death? What happens to their couple activities?  Do friends still invite them for bridge or to join the bowling team when they become a single? Life changes drastically when death parts a couple.

If your parent begins to date, it is not so easy to move from your point of view to understanding and accepting theirs. For a child it may feel too soon, like your living parent is replacing your deceased parent. Perhaps this new wife or husband is stepping in a way that you thought you would. She is going to the doctor’s appointments with dad or cooking dad dinner when you expected to fill that role. He is mowing mom’s lawn with dad’s lawn mower no less! It’s hard.

Consider working on changing the way you look at this budding relationship.  How hard would it be to live as a half when you have been married for 35, 50, or even 60 years? Maybe this new relationship is a search for the happiness they had with your deceased parent? Try to understand that as we age, time really is limited and precious. And honestly…maybe they can’t wait. Maybe they need a partner, or another half, to be whole again.

Bissler & Sons Funeral Home and Crematory has served families in Kent, Ohio, and all of Portage County since 1913. The company transitioned ownership in 2018 when Rick Bissler retired and arranged to merge his family’s funeral home with the Billow family’s funeral homes, who carry on the tradition of high quality funeral, burial, memorial and cremation services. Their privately owned and operated crematory ensures that loved ones never leave their professional care. Visit bisslerandsons.com to learn more.

What’s the Difference Between Entombment and Interment

February 4, 2025
There’s a lot to consider when looking for either your or your loved one’s final resting place, to the point that it can be easy to get overwhelmed. The decision only becomes more complicated when you’re met with unfamiliar vernacular. One choice you may have to make is between entombment or interment. But what exactly do those terms mean? And what’s the difference between interment and entombment?

What Are Burial Vaults and Grave Liners and Why Do I Have to Buy Them?

February 4, 2025
When saying goodbye to someone you love, you have a multitude of decisions to make. Some you might be prepared for, while other questions are new to you. One topic that many people are unfamiliar with is the concept of burial vaults and grave liners, which you may have to have in your loved one’s final resting place.

Food and Funerals: The Comfort of Sharing a Meal

February 4, 2025
Food not only nourishes the body but also comforts the soul, making it a significant part of funeral traditions. Offering food signifies care and supports the healing journey during such tough times.

Understanding Funeral Costs: A Guide to Planning with Care

January 8, 2025
When the time comes to think about funeral arrangements, one of the first questions many of us have is, "How much will it cost?" It’s natural to look for a straightforward answer during such an emotionally charged time. However, much like finding the perfect car, the cost of a funeral varies widely depending on personal choices and specific needs.

What Is the Purpose of Embalming?

January 8, 2025
Embalming can be a controversial topic. Some people are opposed to it, whether due to personal or religious reasons, but for others, embalming is an important part of starting their grief journey and getting a chance to say goodbye to the person they love.

Dressing for a Funeral: Comfort, Respect, and What to Wear

January 8, 2025
Attending a funeral is one of those things that makes everyone pause, not just because of the emotional weight, but also the big question: "What do I wear?" Let’s discuss.

Embracing Family in Funeral Planning

January 8, 2025
When it comes time to say goodbye to a loved one, the focus of the funeral often naturally falls on the family. It's the people who loved and knew the deceased best—spouses, children, grandchildren, friends, and even coworkers—who come together to remember and honor their life.

Do I Have to Go to a Funeral Home to Preplan?

December 3, 2024
Preplanning a funeral often takes working with a knowledgeable funeral director who will be your guide in the planning process. But what if you can’t visit the funeral home in person? Can you still preplan your funeral?

The Different Types of Crypts in a Mausoleum

December 3, 2024
Did you know there are actually quite a few decisions to make beyond whether you choose burial or cremation? Cemeteries offer a wide variety of final resting places for you and your loved ones, but which one is right for you? When you choose a mausoleum, you still have another decision to make: Which type of crypt should you rest in?

What’s the Difference Between a Family and Community Columbarium?

December 3, 2024
When people lose a loved one, many take comfort in knowing that there’s a place they can go to be with them. Cemeteries offer a location where loved ones can gather to be with those who are no longer with them in everyday life. In many ways, choosing to be buried or interred in a cemetery is a gift for those still living as it gives them a place to find you, knowing that you’re never really too far away.
More Posts